Raymond John McDermott

Eulogy - Rita McDermott and Peter McDermott My dear family, those who are here and those who are absent, Barbara and Georgia Peter’s wife and elder daughter and Ben, Ruth’s partner, who couldn’t be here because of Corona Virus. To all or our friends here in Australia and overseas also unable to be here because of the virus. I am going to start with Ray’s early life and our children will fill in for the memories life he shared with them. Ray was born in 1933 to Mick & Olive in Weston in the Hunter Valley. 20 months later he had a brother Brian (these two brothers were very close always) and 10 years after that came his sister Pamela. Apparently she was treated like a toy, Racing her around in Billycarts etc. The family moved to East Maitland where they lived very close to Victoria Street Station. Ah Ha yes near all those lovely trains. Ray was in his glory. In those days it was mostly steam. He was known to sit on the station and just watch them roll by. If ever he was missing they knew where to find him. He travelled on his own on the train to see his Weston Grandma, insulted if his parents asked the guard to look after him. He attended Primary school in East Maitland. Walked there and back a distance of 2 kilometres. At age 13 (1946) he met Mark O’Rourke (Marcus to Ray). Mark always called Ray MAC. They shared interest in Music, Trains, and Photography. There began their lifelong friendship (74 years). One of The Brothers at the school said to him “McDermott with your brain you owe it to society to use it and contribute to the world”. That did it and he started to work better. He never forgot that comment. After school he won an apprenticeship with (you guessed it) the Railways. In 1953 he attended the Technical College in Newcastle studying at night for an Engineering Diploma where he met his friend Doug Winn (now a friend for 67 years). They both rode motor bikes. In an email Doug describes Ray as his oldest and dearest mate. Yes Doug we both value your friendship. In 1954 Ray and I met while on a Church picnic. Why because he had no lunch and was looking around for food. I must have had the best looking lunch, so he joined my brother Pop and myself to share. I had a part time job at the local cinema finishing around 9.30, Ray would come and pick me up on the motor bike and we would go for cuddles under a big tree in the Gaol Park. We always said we would ride the Brisbane Mail that went past from Newcastle to Brisbane which we did on our honeymoon. We were married at the end of 1956 and Ruth was born in May 1957. We added a side car to the motor bike. We moved to Sydney in late 1957 for Ray to continue his studies at University. In 1958, The Snowy Mountains Hydro Electric Authority had visited the university and offered good jobs and we decided to go for it. We would get a house and lots of money. Yippee. We were separated during the week as Ray worked away and only home late Friday night. It was very difficult for me but we would soon be in a house in Cooma. 1960 In July Annette was born on one of only two nights it snowed in Cooma, No wonder she chose a man from Snowy Canada for a husband. Ray joined Little Theatre and performed mostly in lead roles. He was very good and in great demand. He also did stage managing. lighting and whatever was needed. Now there were four of us we decided to sell the bike and sidecar and by a car an Austin Countryman. 1963 Peter was born in May. We felt our family was now complete. Just before Peter was born we upgraded again to the new Holden Station Wagon. Life in Cooma continued to be very good. Lots of friends and many parties. We always went back to Maitland for Christmas. In 1965 Ray was offered and took a job with Leeds and Northrup and we moved to Sydney. The following 10 years were spent working in Power Stations such as Munmorah, buying a house in Mount Colah, many parties, sailing with Ruth in Red Ned, and many business trips to America. Ray was offered a job by Combustion Engineering of Canada in 1975. The job was in New Zealand on Huntley Power Station. We took the job and lived in New Zealand for three years. We travelled everywhere we could in NZ taking advantage of our time there. This was followed in 1978 by a job offer by Combustion in Canada. We took it but decided on the way to visit South Africa. We bought a house in Ottawa. We loved Canada and made lifelong friends, Siroun and Peter Aghajanian, Ken and Kath Bowker etc. We did a lot of travelling in Canada. Lots of parties were had of course – including the famous veranda warming party in the dead of winter in Canada. We decided to go home in 1981. But how about a trip around America and this we did. A camping trip down the East Coast and back up the West for two months. In our Delta 88 Yank Tank. Yes many trains were chased. One time I had to drive the 300 kms so Ray could ride some special train. We covered 18,500 km and 21 states. Down the Grand Canyon on mules. In 1982 we bought our unit in Artarmon. We are still here. Ray started his own consulting business in 1987. This was difficult at first but it soon blossomed. It was around this time he met his other great friend Howard Harrison who worked for Toshiba. We bought Red Ned 3 in 1988 – a cruiser, no more sailing. Some travel highlights during these years include: · Overland train trip from Hong Kong to London, including the Trans-Siberian railway. There were a lot of steam trains in China at that stage. · We also went to India. A difficult but most rewarding trip for me. For Ray lots of steam trains. Once again we only travelled by train, bus or with our own driver. · Many trips to Japan, Singapore etc over the years with Toshiba. He loved and enjoyed working for and travelling with Toshiba. Especially Japan. · The Inaugural trip of the Ghan Darwin to Adelaide. Indian Pacific train to Perth and back at least four times. · Dubai, Spain, Turkey, Greece (I climbed the Acropolis) · Every winter from 2016 to 2019 we travelled to Cairns for a couple of months. We flew to Brisbane to see Peter and other friends and take The Spirit of Queensland train up to Cairns. We did about 7 trips on the Savannahlander train, a four day journey into the outback. We both loved it and never got sick of it. Of course once we had the Caravan the sky was then limit. How I will miss all those caravan trips. Ray was an encyclopedia on trains. He knew everything that was to be known about them. If he didn’t he made it his business to find out. He just loved that interest. His wonderful hobby. Trams, light rail etc. all over the world was his interest. Sadly he never got to ride the Light Rail in Sydney. He was too ill. Music was his other great love, especially classical. The Beatles, the Shadows, Tijuana Brass etc. were there and had to be danced to. What great times we had. He was never trained but knew a lot about music. Photography was his other great passion. From a very young age he and Mark were devoted photographers. He and Mark in Mark’s darkroom in younger years at Bellevue Hill. Ray was on the committee of the Body Corporate of our building for about 30 years. He knew every nook and cranny, drawings of all sorts of things in the building. He interacted with all the contractors who were hired to carry out tasks most of them instigated by him. If anybody had a problem large or small Ray would go and sort it out. The committee will miss him. They are considering naming the Committee Room “The Ray McDermott Committee Room”. In December 2000 Ray was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. This diagnosis was not going to interfere with our lives. Throughout the following 19 years it would go into remission and come back again. More treatment. We were always positive about it. Until it got him. I want to thank all my friends, especially in the building for all the support over these last few months with lifts to and from the hospital, food and companionship. Doug with his daily phone calls when he was not able to be here. And physical help when he was here. Our children, I can only say thank you for being around us. You give and show us your love. How would I have coped over the last two weeks especially, without all three of you. Peter you made it to have the last day of your father’s consciousness. I think he was waiting for you. Annette and Ruth you give me strength with your constant help and love. Your Dad loved all of you. We are blessed to have you in our lives. Our in-laws thank you for making our children happy. Our grandchildren you are our blessings. Our three children have planned their father’s farewell in great detail. Photographs, music, words. I didn’t realise how much effort is needed. Thank you. I was not much help. My life will be very different now. I will miss Ray so much after our almost 65 years together, my very close companion. He was in so much pain over the last nine months, I cannot wish him back. I know my children and close friends will help me and give me strength to go on. Memories - Annette Smith and Ruth McDermott We have so many memories, as I’m sure everyone here does, of Dad and it’s hard to pick out some to share but these are some that are special to us. Trains To say that dad was interested in trains was an understatement of monumental proportions. His obsession started as early as 5 years old as he lived near a station at Lindsay St East Maitland and continued through his life. Dad loved riding on, observing, photographing, chasing and studying all aspects of railway transportation. He was an expert on signaling, train design, train movements, locomotive power sources and railway infrastructure. No detail was too arcane or obscure to attract his interest. If we travelled anywhere, sometimes we would stop and dad would disappear up a trainline to investigate the signalling system. For many years, he was a stalwart of the Railway Historical Society (not to be confused with the Railway Hysterical Society) and the Zig Zag Railway in Lithgow. Not surprisingly, Dad held his 70th birthday party on the Zig Zag train. We all froze but enjoyed the meal prepared by the Zig Zag volunteer ladies and a good time was had by all. Mum recalls how dad managed to incorporate a train experience into the honeymoon – catching the overnight train from Newcastle to Brisbane straight from the wedding reception. Peter remembers chasing trains in South Africa to the point where dad actually received a speeding ticket. Most people go to South Africa for animals but not dad. Dad kept a copy of the speeding ticket as a badge of honour. As an example of his knowledge, a couple of years ago Ruth was in Victor Harbour in South Australia and noted that there was a tourist steam train running to Port Elliott. She texted Dad and (without seeing an image) Dad was immediately able to identify exactly what model train it was – having an encyclopedic knowledge of all steam train whereabouts in Australia. As an adjunct to this interest, for many years Dad was a volunteer guide at the Powerhouse Museum and took pride in showing people the various trains there and one of the original Boulton Watt steam engines. He certainly was obsessed and the loss of his vast train knowledge is a loss to the train fraternity. Travel As everyone knows Dad loved to travel and not just to see trains in exotic locations. Our memories of travel start from a very young age when we were bundled in the back of the station wagon for the long trip to Maitland from Cooma – always in extreme heat with no air conditioning. We spent many holidays and weekends going to various sailing regattas – the most memorable for all of us being the trip to South Australia in the Ford Fairlane with Red Ned on top and towing a caravan. Looking at pictures recently, we wondered how on earth we got there and back without any mishaps. This of course was followed by moving to New Zealand and Canada and Dad’s trips to work in Japan and Thailand as well as travelling to the US, India, USSR (to ride on the Trans-Siberian Railway of course), China, Europe and not to forget the wonderful Woolgoolga in the caravan! For Annette there are specific memories related to multiple trips with Mum and Dad. Flying to the Flinders Ranges in a twin engine aircraft with Captain Jack and exploring in a tiny 4WD (Dad driving of course) as well as visiting Alaska are specific highlights. In more recent times, Mum and Dad’s travelling has been limited to caravanning, and regular trips to Cairns and Catbird. Catbird is the name of Annette’s weekender up at Smiths Lake where Mum and Dad spent many happy days with friends and family. Doug and Dad were always looking for something to fix up there – there was usually something – which was always much appreciated. Dad embraced Jim’s bird watching hobby and was always aware of the birds around and informing Jim about the birds they had “ticked”. Music Like his love of the trains, Dad’s love of classical music started at a very young age and it was an interest he shared with his brother – our marvelous Uncle Brian who passed away 20 years ago. In terms of music, Dad was going through his romantic period when we were young – Brahms, Tchaikovsky, Chopin. Usually played with much gusto, volume and on high rotation. Ruth could actually sing the first movement of the Brahms piano concerto in B Flat as she had heard it so much it became part of her DNA. According to Howard, Dad loved (and enjoyed conducting) all Beethoven symphonies, especially the 9 and its Ode to Joy. Mahler and Brahms too. He said how he and Brian started with Beethoven fifth when he was told by someone that it was the best ever. He said how he drove his Mum nuts with it playing it so much. But Mozart was his 'desert island' choice "always had a GOOD TUNE" he said enthusiastically, "never get sick of it". Howard was always puzzled why he did not respond so much to jazz because he loved rhythm and was a keen and good dancer - he liked the trad variety but rejected the modern school as just being tech show-offs. Boat Dad started sailing in Cooma on Lake Eucumbene and brought this interest with him to Sydney. Dad sailed with Ruth in Red Ned on Middle Harbour for many years – and in fact our lives were dominated by sailing as all family holidays involved going to a regatta somewhere. This frequently involved staying in a tiny caravan shaped like an egg in a park somewhere. We all recall the day Ruth and Dad were out on the harbour in a race and a southerly buster came up the coast. They quickly reached into Balmoral Beach put the boat on its side and raced for shelter. It pelted down and, Dad had to ask someone for money to ring the clubhouse to let mum know that they were OK. After the storm they calmly sailed back to the clubhouse. To say Mum was not a sailor was another understatement. She was definitely cat-like in her hatred of water. Her only sailing experience with dad involved capsizing, lots of shouting and Mum being left on the rescue boat while dad sailed off solo into the distance. That was the end of her sailing career for which she was very thankful. Dad then moved on from sailing to motoring on the Hawksbury River in Red Ned III. There were many days of happiness anchored at Mullet Creek, Chopin’s music drifting over the quiet evening air, slap of water on the hull, a passing train – “that’ll be the XPT from Murwillumbah right on time” says Ray - the nice sound of a glass being refilled after a great meal. Exploring the river’s upper reaches in the rubber ducky; mooring at Brooklyn, noisy evenings at the mooring with the neighbouring ‘boatie’ Phil ‘kaduck’. No discussion of Dad would be complete without mentioning some of his colourful expressions – too many to cover in full. His turn of phrase was both pithy and evocative. For example, a few annoying children were described as ‘wall to wall ankle biters’. When describing his health, dad always claimed he was ‘fit as a mallee bull’. We often wondered whether bulls from the mallee area were more hardy than bulls of other places. Finally, when it was a certain time of the day, dad would claim that it was a ‘dry argument’ and further discussion needed to happen over a crisp, cold beer or a good red wine. Dad you’ve passed on your love of travel, music, trains, wine and living life to the fullest to all of us. We will always remember you when we travel and see beautiful scenery, buildings and birds, drink lovely Australian wine, hear some Beethoven (or Beatles Love Love Me Do) or hear the whistle of a train going by. We love you so much and will miss you. Tributes Pam McDermott When I was about 10 Ray and Brian purchased a sterogram record player and a 78 recording of Beethoven’s 5th Symphony They played this record endlessly and loudly while “conducting” the orchestra about the house. This is where my absolute love for classical music was born-especially Beethoven and, to this day I still listen to Beethoven's 5th with fond memories of those days with my brothers. Ray also included me in his love of steam trains. He was into photography at the time, taking endless photos of steam trains often with me as part of the subject, standing close by a railway track (safely) or hanging over a railway bridge, waving as the train approached. About 25 years ago Steamfest came to Maitland. To attend Steamfest, Ray travelled from Sydney to Maitland on a steam train pulled by the famous and magnificent 3801 green engine We would meet up, have a look at the various steam engines on display, then head to the pub for lunch and a beer. To this day I still share Ray's passion for steam trains, especially the grand 3801 and will be sure to raise a glass for Ray at Steamfest next year Recently I visited Ray in hospital and one of the last things he said to me was “do you remember the billycart?” I asked if I ever fell out and he assured me I didn’t!! Of course I was way too young to actually remember if I did or not!! The Billycart story has been told many times over the years. It was interesting growing up with two cheeky brothers Rest in peace. Mark O’Rourke I first met Ray (always known to me as Mac), early in 1946 when I started High School at Marist Brothers, Maitland. We soon found interests in common such as love of Music, Reading, Pushbike Riding, Railways, Photography and Model making to mention some that come to mind after 74 years. About when we were in Intermediate Class in 1948, we entered a pact to act as Best Man for each other at some distant future date when we figured we would probably, eventually, marry. This pact was duly fulfilled in 1956 and 1958. Many are train trips and lunches (some combined; Dungog by train for lunch, Coonamble and Gulgong by rail motor for lunch from a Dubbo base) and many lunches in and around Sydney, both with and without other close buddies. These are just a few memories that come to mind at this time, but I have many, many more very happy memories of my lengthy friendship with my best mate, Mac. I am so extremely sorry to think we have all lost such a great buddy and that there will be no more such memories created. Doug Winn Ray was known to me as "Fred" from the 50's when a namesake suddenly appeared in the news. Frederick Lincoln McDermott, no relation, but an alleged criminal and from then on, in the manner of teenagers, Ray became "Fred"! The Fred I've known all these years never changed! Everything he did, he did well! And he Cared! He looked after his motorbike well. He did his degree well. He nurtured a lovely family and he made a successful career. And in later years, he ran the Body Corporate well! He did all these things because he cared! And Rita was at the top of his list! The most significant thing to me personally however is that Fred always let me know in subtle ways that he valued my friendship. He involved me in his life, his adventures and his progress as if I was a member of the family. And his last words to me, concerned about my poor eyesight were, "I hope your eyes are OK!" So he was showing care for me as his own health was failing. I will always treasure that moment! Because of the coronavirus, I wasn't able to be with Fred during his last days in hospital. I also wasn't there for Rita when she needed support and these omissions will be to my everlasting sorrow. We had 67 years of adventures together so I wouldn't know where to start. My most treasured memories however are the simple things we did together, like fixing the starter motor on the boat at Woy Woy or repairing the caravan at Woolgoolga or putting down a new mooring for the boat at Mullet Creek! And what about the new Cyprus Pine table at Catbird? Simple little things done together can mean so much! Your passing Fred is going to leave a huge gap in my life but I know all those wonderful memories will mean you're always with me! Howard Harrison A lifetime friendship from a simple game of golf: We have never looked back. Now we have the memories. Rich memories coloured with the richly complex character of a bloke never to be taken for granted, firm views on everything always firmly espoused, rarely diplomatically, a true engineer, a man of music, humour, good cheer, always ready for a beer or two with his mates, in short a man to love and take as offered – which we did willingly and gratefully for him enriching our lives. Of trains, Ray infected everyone with his enthusiasm. We remember our trip to Perth, our cars travelling on board the Indian Pacific whilst we enjoyed the lounge and dining cars, then the drive back to Sydney around the wineries of the south west, on across the Nullabor, Rita NOT enjoying oysters at Ceduna, dinner at Stefano’s restaurant at Mildura – memorable!! Mentioning traditions – there were many! Occasional lunch at ‘the Rissl’ (Chatswood RSL) for Ray and I, joined by Doug when in Sydney, with the standard fare: a Reschs followed by a glass of red, sometimes two, and a pie with Greek salad, rounded off by a coffee. All very moderate. We both like Reschs laden as it is with memories of our respective youths, and only drunk in middies of course – none of this excessive modern schooner school for us oldies! Through those 40 years Tricia and I have come to enjoy the McDermott dynasty, welcomed into their family - their three wonderful children Ruth, Annette and Peter and their respective families – and introduced to lifelong friendships with their old friends, especially Doug, the Bard of Bellingen, and Markus, friends from Ray’s school days. Tricia and I share so many memories of Ray that will be refreshed whenever we meet with Rita, Doug, and Mark, our family, when in each other’s company together listening to Mozart et al, or at the theatre, at concerts, enjoying the odd glass or two of refreshment, just living through our lives hence. He will be remembered, with deep love for a good mate. Janey and Stuart We met Ray and Rita when we were 18, visiting their home for a meal. Up to that point we had only drunk ordinary, cheap wine. But the wine Ray pulled the corked on that night was something else. I do not remember what the wine was but suspect it would have been a Hunter Valley shiraz and it was a revelation. Gabriella Szondy Ray and I shared a love of railways, railway history, power stations, industrial heritage and photography (and good food and wine). I will always associate the Elephant & Castle Hotel with you, Ray and Doug. It was through photography that we met on Flickr where he shared railway and power generation photos and the odd family photo as you and his family were his first and main love. I learnt a lot from Ray and was fascinated by the stories of his extraordinary career and experiences, and hugely admire the very special relationship Rita and Ray shared. Jenny Elliot (Chair of the Body Corporate for 1 Jersey Rd Artarmon) Ray had responsibility for the maintenance, health and improvement of this building and grounds for the last 35 years. It is impossible to overestimate the contribution Ray made to the smooth running of our building. It is no exaggeration to say that thanks to Ray, Number one Jersey Rd is one of the best run buildings in all of Artarmon. Ray was a highly qualified engineer. He not only oversaw minor and major improvements and repairs to the building; he had a very creative mind. He was always thinking of ways to improve the building and grounds. He was still involved with making such enhancements shortly before he died. Ray has left massive shoes to fill. He was a man with many skills and talents. He never turned anyone from his door if they needed help. Ray will be greatly missed by all his friends and the many residents he has helped over the years. I have no idea how we will manage without him. Will Kemp - Savannahlander One of the best bits about this job is when passengers become friends. One of the worst parts is when we lose those friends. Ray was one of the nicest blokes I had ever met. He and his lovely wife, Rita, absolutely adored the Savannahlander. This wonderful, couple have travelled with us 7 times It absolutely shattered me when I got the news of Ray's Passing. Leigh and I were sitting in the 11 class loco, about to resume driving, in absolute silence as each of us reflected on the fond memories and moments that we shared with Ray. Knowing that he won't be onboard for another trip is something that just doesn't feel right. Ray was a keen Train Enthusiast and was especially interested in Safeworking Systems. He spent his life as an engineer but helped out in various volunteer railways when he could. He was instrumental in setting up the Safeworking system at Zig Zag Railway. Ray and I spent hours over the years talking about all sorts of topics as we traversed across the savannah and he would always help me keep a sharp eye out for any wildlife on the track that needed rescuing. He has met my partner and family and even my Mum. We are all going to miss you Ray. Our thoughts are with your wife, Rita, and your family. We wish them all the best through these tough times. Ray, you got on board the Savannahlander as a passenger, but you got off as a bloody good mate! See ya later Ray.