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Join MemoriesEmily Lenneville Tom with a football, his older brother (Frank Jr), and his Dad (Frank)
Bill Schelstrate Tom and Bill. The only time Tom was twice the age of Bill, ages 18 and 9 at home in Rock Island, Il
Larry Hood Tom was a great friend in high school. We ran around together doing foolish high school stuff and having a lot of fun. I lost track of Tom. He went east and I went south but I never forgot him because he was such a great guy. As I see here we both ended up serving in Viet Nam and eventually being high school teachers. I wish I could have talked "shop" with him.
Michael Schelstrate Here is a fun picture of Tom and me (along with a few friends) the week before he departed for Vietnam. In the basement of our Rock Island home, we "borrowed" our sister Mimi's playhouse for a cute memory. At the time, Frank, Tom and I were all serving in the military.
Emily Lenneville Tom getting a Bronze Star for Meritorious Achievement in Vietnam (date approximate)
Eric Reinhardt Tom’s Army discharge papers
Laura Byfield Uncle Tom always kept us entertained and giggling. We loved being with him - his nieces, Laura and Amy, in 1979.
Carolyn Caldwell Tom loved his daughter.
Jim Olivetti Our two families on the Eastern Shore around 1990.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom wanted to try.
Barbara Schelstrate Every summer for several years, Tom painted one side of the house or another. His version of painting started with taking off the old paint with a heat gun. Serious business! Apparently, in 1995 he thought he was finished!
Eric Reinhardt Tom digs his backyard pond
Eric Reinhardt Tom and his college friends: Tom, Bud, (Tom), and Pat
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Kitty Kocol Received Master of Public Administration from UW Oshkosh in Public Administration
Eric Reinhardt Tom and his dad
Barbara Schelstrate Tom and Elsa Olivetti, at her wedding to Justin Reich, in Maine. What do you suppose he's telling her?
Barbara Schelstrate Eric, Barbara, Alec, Karen, Conner and Tom at one of the Smithsonian museums.
Barbara Schelstrate Yes, Tom is sitting in the trunk of the car. You can see Alec with him.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom at 60!
Barbara Schelstrate Our joint 60th surprise birthday party, given by Trudi and Jim Olivetti and arranged by our daughter Emily. And, yes, we were surprised! And HAPPY!
Barbara Schelstrate Emily and the Olivettis had a spectacular 60th birthday party for us. Friends, family and more family came!
Barbara Schelstrate Family that came to Virginia for our 60th birthdays.
Barbara Schelstrate In Bratislava, Slovakia, with our international daughter Anka.
Barbara Schelstrate Emily, Tom, Barbara, Mother Anka and Sano on our Slovakian vacation.
Barbara Schelstrate Mother Anka gives Tom a haircut.
Eric Reinhardt Teaching grandson Conner to fish at Eaglesmere
Barbara Schelstrate Tom plays with his namesake, Tomi, our Anka's son.
Barbara Schelstrate Sano and Tom at a tea cafe. I can't explain what's going on in the second picture. You have to see it to believe it.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom with Bud's son Noah, at Bud's 60th. Who can explain what's going on here?
Barbara Schelstrate The "Four Compadres" at Bud Richardson's surprise 60th birthday party. From left, Pat Connolly, Bud, Tom and Tom Sibley. These guys have been buddies since Newman Club in college.
Barbara Schelstrate Three of the four buddies -- Pat, Tom and Bud. They love to hike.
Barbara Schelstrate Hitting golf balls in the rain. Back row: Glenn Falls, Ron Carton and Matt Schelstrate. Front row: Jim Olivetti, Tom and Rob Summers.
Barbara Schelstrate One of many hikes on the Billy Goat Trail, Great Falls, Maryland. This, by the way, is what we did on our first date... many years ago.
Barbara Schelstrate Visiting our friend Mark Stephan
Barbara Schelstrate With Tom's brother Mike and some of his family on a hike in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. From left -- Noreen, Barbara, Josie, Mike and Tom.
Barbara Schelstrate Trip to Portland, Oregon.
Barbara Schelstrate Charlie's Angels?
Barbara Schelstrate Tom's very good friend, Aaron Beiler, a wonderful man who encouraged Tom to bring his social anthropology students up to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, to visit Amish country.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom's Amish look, inspired by his friendship with Aaron Beiler.
Barbara Schelstrate "Could Grandpa Tom really mean what he's saying?"
Barbara Schelstrate One of many home projects
Barbara Schelstrate Explaining the intricacies of the backyard pond to grandsons Alec and Conner, while Eric looks on
Barbara Schelstrate Ron, Sally, Tom and me eating lunch after Barack Obama's first inauguration. We were ecstatic. Plus, the American History Museum on the Mall let us eat in one of their hallways!
Barbara Schelstrate Tom at work. This photo came from a July-August, 2009, issue of The Arlington Citizen newspaper.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom was an avid -- and adventurous -- eater. He would try anything. In Peru, he ate guinea pig. He said it was very good, by the way.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom with his college friends Mike and Bud Richardson and Bud's son, Noah. (Bud on right)
Barbara Schelstrate Tom loved playing cards. Here, while playing with Noah and Bud Richardson, he's about to burst out laughing. Here's what Bud says about this photo.... "Tom is teaching us 'I Doubt It.' The point of the game is to get rid of your cards first. Guess who is winning."
Barbara Schelstrate Emily's graduation from Brooklyn College.
Sally Carton Ron and I had some great vacations with Tom and Barbara. This was Alaska in 2010. Always included a lot of hiking! Will miss my big brother and all the fun we had.
Barbara Schelstrate Sally mentioned our trip with her and Ron to Alaska. It was wonderful!
Barbara Schelstrate Jim and Tom take a break during the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear
Barbara Schelstrate Tom did not like that sleep apnea contraption.
Barbara Schelstrate Merle and Tom Sprague, Emily's in-laws, in our backyard. What do you suppose Tom is saying?
Barbara Schelstrate The day before Emily and Mike's marriage. This photo is also an early example of photo-bombing.
Barbara Schelstrate An exultant bride. A father who wants to stay upright while guiding his daughter to the altar.
Eric Reinhardt
Barbara Schelstrate Mollie and Evan Hoorneman visit
Barbara Schelstrate At Dad and Berny's house in Anderson.... Glenn Falls, Carl Caldwell, Berny Falls, Carolyn Caldwell, Barbara and Tom.
Barbara Schelstrate Barbara's family at Cordry Lake. We were probably laughing because we didn't know whether Tom would make it back in time for the photo. Or was it Craig who took this? Standing -- Carl Caldwell, Maya Caldwell, Chris Caldwell, Bettie Caldwell, Carolyn Caldwell, Talia Caldwell, Tom, Berny Falls, Craig Caldwell. Sitting: Barbara, Elena Caldwell, Diana Caldwell, Glenn Falls.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom trying to hook up the new TV. Technological matters didn't come easily for either of us!
Barbara Schelstrate A frigid morning. Tom is all dressed to ride his bike to work.
Barbara Schelstrate Another of Tom's ArtStream performances, this time as the high school principal who gets murdered in the first scene.
Barbara Schelstrate Some of Tom's handiwork in our back yard. All the plants, the mulch and even the laying of the stepping stones.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom LOVED playing with his grandchildren. This is three-month-old Anna.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom's handiwork at W-L High School. He got student groups together to landscape various parts of the grounds. This day he was on his own, but that wasn't typical.
Barbara Schelstrate Loved those grandkids, not least because he could nap with them! This is Anna, at 5 months old.
Barbara Schelstrate
Barbara Schelstrate Tom with my dad, Kurt and Rashida.
Sally Carton Tom and Barbara on a high speed train from Sevilla to Madrid. So fun!
Sally Carton The 4 of us in Granada Spain with the Alhambra in the background. And Tom tasting a little food at the wine bar. He loved this hat.
Eric Reinhardt Tom and Barbara with grandsons Conner and Alec
Tom joined our cast of the ArtStream play "Out of Monet" as the Egyptian god Anubis. He was so generous to do this. And every day that he came on stage...his costume was more and more elaborate...he kept adding to it. I looked for pictures but didn't see one ...I will never forget his god-like stance! Thank you Tom.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom playing Anubis in a costume he fabricated himself, as Patti Woolsey recounts elsewhere on this Memories page.
Barbara Schelstrate Anna, Mike, Emily, Barbara and Tom after a hike in Mount Rainier Park
Carolyn Caldwell We still miss you Tom.
Eric Reinhardt
Barbara Schelstrate The Broder/Reinhardts come for Thanksgiving and Tom demonstrates his "selfie" prowess.
Sally Carton We all love our times on Barefoot Beach. Enjoying sunset.
Carolyn Caldwell Tom loved the school children.
Carolyn Caldwell Our family had an experience of a lifetime in 2018 when we traveled together to Kenya to visit Heritage Academy and experience a safari. As others have reported, Tom engaged with people, inquiring about their lives and they country. We all learned so much because of his curiosity.
Diana Caldwell This is a wonderful memory with Tom....our trip to Kenya with Tom, Barbara Ann, my in laws Carl and Carolyn and our family. In this photo, we are waiting in a small airport in Nairobi to fly to our safari adventure. Tom was always so attentive and kind to our three girls.
Eric Reinhardt
Barbara Schelstrate With grandson Paul at the water feature in Wright Park
Barbara Schelstrate Reading to grandchildren Anna and Paul
Emily Lenneville Tom with the Tree Stewards of Arlington County.
Eric Reinhardt
Anissa Brennan Tom sending my son a thumbs up after he and Barbara sang him a lovely rendition of Happy Birthday. Wish I could upload the message - it is a joy to listen to.
Anissa Brennan Joe and I still laugh thinking about this exchange with Tom. He was helping us with Tipper while we were out of town and would send us pics of her (she loved Tom). We made a human version of this one.
Barbara Schelstrate Explaining the intricacies of the backyard pond to neighbors Jack and Ben
Emily Lenneville Carl and Carolyn's lakehouse in Indiana
Eric Reinhardt
Barbara Schelstrate With niece Kristie and her husband Chris at their place in Bettendorf, Iowa
Barbara Schelstrate With Jim and Trudi in Gloucester, MA
Eric Reinhardt Tom at school
Emily Lenneville Tom teaching "War" to granddaughter Anna, with grandson Paul watching.
Barbara Schelstrate Carolyn, Carl, Tom and me at Meadowlark Botanical Gardens last fall.
Barbara Schelstrate Tom has always been a good amateur photographer of wildlife. Sometimes he was there at just the right moment.
Emily Lenneville Christmas Party at Mary Beth's in Philadelphia, PA
Anissa Brennan Pizza night at Tom and Barbara’s! Yum!
Barbara Schelstrate Day after Christmas. With the Cartons, the Lees and the Lennevilles... at Emily and Mike's place in Tacoma, WA
Eric Reinhardt Hiking on Theodore Roosevelt Island
Barbara Schelstrate It was Tom's idea for the three of us to get a pedicure. I don't think he'd ever had one before, but he loved it.
Eric Reinhardt The backyard gardens and pond in spring 2020
Eric Reinhardt
Such a sad day. I first met Thom in 2015-2016 while I was in my first year as a school counselor at Washington-Lee HS. We only had a handful of interactions that year and the following year (16-17). It was during 2017-2018 that Thom and I really created a close bond. In many ways, he was another life mentor for me. He became my go-to for various ...
Emily Lenneville Rob Summers, a colleague of Tom's, plays Amazing Grace in Tom's honor.
OBITUARY: On Wednesday, May 20, 2020, Thomas “Tom” M. Schelstrate, PhD, age 74, died peacefully at home in Arlington, VA, in the company of his wife and stepson Eric. He leaves behind his wife (Barbara Schelstrate), daughter (Emily Lenneville), two stepsons (Eric Reinhardt, Chinyelu Reinhardt), along with grandchildren (Conner Reinhardt, Maya Ma'a...
Bill Schelstrate Tom and brother Bill in Tom's backyard.
Ryan Miller
Doug Grove Tom enjoying a Potomac Nationals game with Doug Grove and Tim Wyatt.
Bill Schelstrate Siblings. Click on picture will expand it.
Ron Carton Tom is my brother-in-law and we shared many great memories together for 50 plus years that I have known him. Tom was a true brother to me. We vacationed together, traveled together and really enjoyed those special times with both Tom and Barbara. No matter what we did, Tom was always all in for whatever would come our way. We hiked the Rockies (one of our favorites), slid down a glacier (crazy) and fished in the early morning hours just to enjoy what nature had to offer. Tom will be dearly missed and was truly part of all of our lives. This a photo of us fishing in Florida.
Jim Olivetti Tom was a master of the selfie, long before there was a word for it.
Jim Olivetti Tom was always ready to lend a hand or two.
Jim Olivetti Many great bikerides together over the decades
Doug Grove After lunch at the All American Steakhouse with his former colleagues.
Frank Schelstrate The family at Mom and Dad's Anniversary. Dad Tom and Frank Jr at mom and Dad's in Florida.
Written 5/24/2020 Dear Dad, Life during a pandemic would not have suited you -- your hard-wired impulse to connect with people was not conducive to a technology platform. It was built around the spontaneous interactions you had in the quotidien. You learned the names and history of grocery clerks where you shopped, of the airbnb hosts where you...
I am so very sorry to hear this news. I got my start in APS as a social studies student teacher when Tom was head of the department at W-L. Although I was only at W-L for half a semester, I always regarded Tom as a mentor and guiding light along my teaching path. He made teaching fun and supported and encouraged me along the way; I saw him the s...
Frank Schelstrate Photo of Mom and Dad , Frank Jr and Tom taken at Aunt Peggy and Uncle Gene's House.
I held onto this email from Tom in 2015 for some reason. Glad I did because it just encapsulates Tom's joyful, funny essence. Rest in peace, dear friend. March 15th, 2015 For what it's worth - and probably not much right now - but I was obsessed with basketball as a kid. My dad even made a court for me in the backyard. Concrete. The whole bit. ...
Mimi Gianulis Tom and Barb with nieces Katie, Kristie, Kara and Kelsey Seibert on Christmas Eve 2013. We loved when they came to visit!!! So many special holiday memories were made!!
Mimi Gianulis One of my favorite photos of Tom, Barb, Emily and Mike. Love all the smiles and twinkling eyes!! ❤️
Mimi Gianulis It’s with a very heavy heart that I write this tribute in honor of my big brother, Tom. My heart is so sad. Tom was a huge part of my world. He was always so much fun! We laughed together a lot! He added a special sort of enthusiasm wherever he went. I loved all the holidays, birthdays, vacations, graduations, weddings, etc., when Tom was in attendance. You knew you would have a good time with Tom. He had such a huge heart. He wanted to talk to everyone and see what was going on in their lives. He truly cared about everyone. I miss our phone conversations. He always wanted to know what was going on with my family. He loved us all unconditionally. Tom was a big part of our memories of Thanksgivings and Christmases especially. He made them extra special. I loved when he came to visit us in Illinois and Arizona. He had such a passion for living. We had such a special sibling/friendship our entire life. My heart aches knowing I can’t give him a call anytime I want. I miss his voice. We had a lot of memories left to make. My life was better and happier because Tom was my loving brother! I’ll love you and miss you forever!!
Mimi Gianulis Tom with brother-in-law and friend, Andrew, heading to Saukee Golf Course in Rock Island, Illinois and on another visit to Arizona they were heading to the hot tub!!
Mimi Gianulis Mimi visits Arlington in 2014.
Frank Schelstrate Photo of Tom ,Frank and Mike on a trip to Colorado in 1959, Toms first Trip to Pikes Peak.
Mimi Gianulis Tom enjoys lunch with his brother Frank in February of 2019 in Palm Springs, CA.
Mimi Gianulis Tom finds someone to talk to in Palm Springs, CA in February of 2019.
Mimi Gianulis Tom, Mom, Dad and Mimi in Rock Island in 1998. We loved visits from Tom and family!! Tom always made such an effort to come back home to see his parents!!
Barbara is an excellent pianist and accompanied our chorus and other musical groups over the years. I met Thom through these performances, and always enjoyed talking with him. He was always pleasant and smiling and easy to talk to, and a joy to talk with. So sad to learn of his passing -- my thoughts are with Barbara and her family. Ron Gilliland...
Mimi Gianulis Tom and Barb visit us in Arizona. We always had such a fun time together. We loved when they came to visit! This was in 2016.
I had the good fortune to meet Tom Schelstrate through working with Barbara on several musical projects. Tom was a joy to be around on many occasions, including those when I visited their home to rehearse with Barbara, and he was so supportive in attending all of the performances that resulted. Also, I remember the Anubis role and costume that I'...
Mimi Gianulis Nieces Kara and Kelsey Seibert visit Arlington in July of 2018. Like Tom, Kara is good at taking selfies!
Mimi Gianulis Tom enjoys some trampoline time with niece Katie in 1998. Maybe that started Tom’s back pain. 🤣
Mimi Gianulis Tom looks pretty happy here surrounded by Anka, Kristie. Emily, Kelsey, Kara, Katie and Mimi. Picture taken in April of 1998.
My family knew Tom and Barbara as fellow dog walkers, AHCA members, and appreciated him as a budding tree steward. When I heard he was sick, I sent him an email, the relevant part being "it's been a real pleasure to have you as a neighbor and encountering the 3 of you walking, or seeing you trimming our trees, or cleaning out the traffic circles. ...
Mimi Gianulis Tom and Barbara came to Illinois to visit in July of 2019. We had so much fun as always! We boated, took long walks, visited all the cemeteries where our beloved family members are buried, enjoyed great meals together and shared much laughter. I had no idea that would be the last time I would spend time with Tom. I will cherish the memories of this time together forever! ❤️
I did not know Tom well, but I have always admired him because of his teaching. He was so popular, and was willing to work with the children with the most challenges. He was truly a gift to them, and in turn, to us.
I grew up in the Schestrate "family" while living in Moline...as a close friend of brother Frank. Always something going on in the household. Enjoyed the photos and slide show. Lots of memories. Tom was always fun and is gone too early. Sounds like he had a wonderful life! Good for him and the whole family!
I am so saddened to learn of Dr. Schelstrate's passing. I actually came across this page after a quick Google search as he was on my mind this morning! As a student at W-L, I had a really difficult senior year -- something had occurred in my personal life and my ethical back-and-forth over what to do about it cast a shadow over everything else. Whi...
Barbara Schelstrate Today Alcova Heights neighbors installed this stone memorial for Tom in the traffic circle at the end of our street. For years, he had maintained this circle and others in the neighborhood. As a way of thanking and remembering him, they built this memorial.
Sally Carton Ron and I had lots of fun vacations with Tom and Barbara and this was one of the best. In Spain 2016. Ron and Barbara were always in charge of map reading and getting us where we wanted to go. Tom and I just waited until time to follow. It worked out most of the time. Think this was in Barcelona.
Carolyn Caldwell We still miss you Tom.
Carolyn Caldwell Tom loved our lake place. He would swim every morning for exercise!
I'm very grateful to have known such a wonderful man.
Frequently, we encounter people who seem to have no purpose or meaning in their lives. Tom, on the other hand had no limit to his purpose and meaning. Tom became my mentor, my teacher, my colleague, and my dear friend. He had so much exuberance, zest, and energy in everything he did. His capacity for love, caring, empathy, and sharing had no li...