Thomas Murphy's memory board

Eulogy Tom Murphy by his son Shane Mum, Kieran, Jenny and I wanted to include all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren in today's ceremony, and we have, but I wasn't able to reach my son Bryan, who loved grandpa very much. When Bryan was studying at the University of Singapore he made a special trip to Raffles Hotel to buy a Singapore Sling so he could bring the commemorative shot glass back through southeast Asia to give to my Dad as a Christmas present. Dad loved it. Last night I finally got an email from Bryan, and I want to share his words with you this morning: "My favorite memory my favorite memory of grandpa is the experience of sitting and listening to him talk about history. His obvious, unbridled enthusiasm was so great, it was a joy just to be in his presence at those times. I always figured I got my passion for history from him. One specific memory sticks out - Grandpa had so many memories of growing up in wartime that researchers from the WWII Archives in Canberra video interviewed him about them. To hear Grandpa tell WWII stories, you'd have never known he wasn't in the trenches with the diggers. Grandpa Tom was a funny, fiercely intelligent man with incredible patience and a font of kindness in his heart that I can only envy. The world would be a better place with more men like Tom in it, and it's a sadder place now that he's gone." Thank you Bryan. Dad was born on June 6, 1930, son of Tommy and Catherine Murphy. Dad’s parents lived at LongNose Point in Balmain where Dad’s brothers Bernie and George were born. The family moved to Manly in 1929 to run a shop that became known as “Murphy’s Corner”on the corner of Belgrave and Carlton Streets. The next year the surprise packet arrived - Dad. He grew up during the Great Depression and through World War II - if you ever wanted to have good chat with Dad, all you had to do was mention the War, and he was off and running. Mention cricket as well and you had a friend for life. It became a source of pride for Dad that his 14th birthday was D-Day, the day of the great Allied invasion of Normandy that marked the beginning of the end of the war. His brothers were in the first intake class of the new Christian Brothers College in Manly, and Dad also attended Brothers - as did all of his sons - Chris, Kieran and myself. (Jenny for some reason went to Stella). While researching this eulogy, my brother Kieran found some old letters of Dad’s, and in them he talks about his days at Manly and at Brothers. Dad wrote: ‘I first entered the Hallowed Halls of Christian Brothers College when I accompanied my father when I was 5, Laddie our dog always provided escort. We delivered food from our shop at Murphy’s Corner to the Brothers. I always remember being overawed by the quiet and the long flight of stairs and the muffled sounds through those mysterious doors leading to the class rooms’. ‘When I started School, I didn’t mind the Gregorian chant but my tuneless voice didn’t like it, nor did Br. Cohen like my voice, but I couldn’t get out of choir practice, and so I would stand there in St. Mary’s mouthing the words. Sometimes I would give it a go and Br. Cohen’s head would turn in dismay. I got my revenge in later years when as a parishioner of Harbord the men would often adjourn to the Harbord Diggers for “Choir Practice”. No Br. Cohen to seen. After school he joined the Commonwealth Bank, and at 20 at a CYO Dance he met the woman who became the love of his life, Nola Stephenson. They were married right here on February 12, 1955, and celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary this year, so we can really say that Dad’s life has come full circle, can’t we? Mum loved him with all her heart and raised 4 pretty terrific children with him. Watching Mum look after Dad this past week with such love and care was amazing, but it must have been the hardest 10 days of Mum’s life. Dad of course charmed the entire staff at Mona Vale Hospital - they called him “Smiley” because his first response to any question or instruction was a huge smile. Dad had several great passions. He followed sports enthusiastically, and he was a great gardener. Wherever he went he created beautiful gardens in his homes - in Harbord on Brighton Street, in Belmont Victoria, Horsham Vic, and at St. Georges Basin. Mum loved Dad’s gardens, especially the beautiful one up in the Mountains at Wentworth Falls which had a gorgeous bed of roses along with lovely wattle, freesias, orchids and watsonia, but she was a bit crook on him at St. Georges Basin when he came in one night from the garden and washed his hands and admitted that he’d lost his wedding ring. They looked everywhere the next few days but it never turned up - Dad had a special talent for losing things so that they stayed lost. Of course Dad & Mum’s longest stay was right here, at 2 Keirle Street, and they gave Jenny, Kieran, Chris and I the great gift of growing up in a stable community surrounded by old family friends like the Crowleys, the Sparkes, the Scanlons, Yeates, Clearys, and the Smiths. It was a wonderful, supportive, stable start for us all in life. All 4 of us attended St. John’s. Dad coached youth rugby league right here at St. John’s and also for Christian Brothers. He let me help him and I loved standing on the sidelines keeping stats for him. I learned a lot about sportsmanship watching Dad coach - he kept a careful record of how many minutes every child played and he made sure that every child played the same amount during the season - he never played favourites. And he stuck to his principles - after one season the father of an amazingly talented young player from an opposing team came to Dad and wanted his son to play for him the next season. But he told Dad that his son had to play in every game. Dad calmly explained his rules of equality and the father said, “well that doesn’t apply to my son, right?” Dad replied “It certainly does” - we never saw that lad in a Christian Brothers jersey. Dad had so many adventures in life - his first big overseas trip to Europe, America and Asia was in 1973 with Mum for a banking conference, but he ended up travelling all over the United States while visiting a certain son who settled there. I remember in 1987 he happened to be visiting Annemarie and I by himself in Colorado Springs and he was the first person to get that the news that we were expecting our first-born. Dad was thrilled and Mum was a bit upset - it was one of the very few pieces of gossip that he ever got before Mum. Dad was the least selfish man I ever knew. He loved the underdog - that's why he was a Labor man his whole life. He enjoyed banking as a career because he enjoyed helping people, and he had a very successful banking career - he became a Zone Regional Manager at the Advance Bank. He liked volunteering with the St. Vincent DePaul, and being involved in the parish here at Harbord, and the Probus Club he loved being part of down in Jervis Bay. Most of all Dad devoted his energies and love to his extended Murphy/ Blake family. He was especially proud of his 9 fantastic grand-children and his great-grandchild Kyana - he loved them very, very much and followed all their activities closely. The newest grandchild is Young Ted - you have an inspirational role model Ted - Just as you are, he was the third of three boys. Being born the day before Dad died, I believe you will have a wonderful guardian angel with you your whole life. Dad loved reading and he passed that love on to me. In fact a lot of the books I love most in life were recommended to me by Dad. While staying with Mum these past 2 weeks I picked up a collection of John Le Carre stories from Dad’s bookshelf to read - Dad loved Le Carre and the whole spy story genre. At the front of the book I found an inscription and realized I was reading the book I gave Dad as a goodbye present when I left for the USA in 1980. And to conclude, I'd like to read you those words I wrote to Dad when I was 22: "Dad, Words cannot express my feelings for you. Not only have you been a tremendous father (the best), but you are such a great friend to me. I must admit that the thought of not having you around to talk things over with when I need to has been depressing. Still, nothing can take our love away from us, and you have all of mine. I wish you and Mum the best of everything. I’ll always be with you in spirit. Shane" And Dad’s spirit will always be with us. God bless you Dad. Memories of my grandfather By Theresa Murphy My grandpa Tom was an amazing man. He was always so proud of us and he always faced adversity with a smile. His kindness and warmth will continue to live on within all of us. Every time I talked to Grandpa Tom he would ask me how life was going and every time I told him what I was up to, even when I was up to nothing in particular, he would always say "well isn't that just wonderful" and you could tell that he meant it. I could always count on grandpa Tom to be happy and excited about everything I did. So the next time you want to get mad because something is going wrong, even if it's as big as a career struggle or as small as not being able to find your camera, don't let it get to you because you'll always have the love of family and friends around you, something that grandpa Tom knew very well. Instead give a hearty Tom smile and move on, because life is short so you really have to enjoy it, like grandpa always did. I am so sorry I can't be here today in person, but my love is with all of you as we struggle through this hard time together. Please share with me and with each other our stories about grandpa Tom so that we can remember all the wonderful moments of his beautiful live. All my love, Theresa