Selena Marie Rose Kennedy's memory board

OBITUARY --- read on.. Entrance music plays: Brian Cadd - Ginger man (4.12 mins) If I could just ask those with mobile telephones, if you could please switch them off, or put them on silent for the next half hour, as a courtesy to Selena and her family. May I go now? Do you think the time is right? May I say goodbye to pain filled days and farewell despondent nights? I’ve lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be. So can I take that step beyond and set my spirit free? I didn’t want to go at first, I fought with all my might. But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light. Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you, too. That’s why it’s hard to say goodbye and end this life with you. So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say, because you care so much for me, you’ll let me go today. This poem by Susan A. Jackson, typifies the way Selena lived; a kind, placid and peaceful soul, devoting her energies to her family and helping others. It also depicts the brave battle with illness she endured and fought head-on right till the end. There is no doubt that throughout her life, she has touched many lives, lives that have been all the more enriched because of that experience, and seeing you all here today, is indicative of the love and respect that Selena had earned from each of you. My name is Elizabeth Wilkie and I welcome you to this service today to pay your respects and to celebrate the life of a very special lady, Selena Marie-Rose Kennedy, tragically taken from us on 5 July 2015. We are here to pay tribute to Selena, a much loved and loving daughter of Marlene and Keith, a much adored and loving mother to Shilo and Teanne, and mother-in-law to Brad, a treasured grandmother to Stella, Ivy and Jules, a beloved and devoted partner to Barry, and sister to Leslie and David. Selena was a much loved and respected friend and individual and we are here to share some memories of her. Helen Keller once said, “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us”. And so, on this day we have gathered to remember Selena, to consider her life, to mourn her passing and to carve out a place in our heart just the right size to carry her memories with us. As a fitting tribute to Selena, the following items have been placed on her coffin to symbolise her life and all she held dear. • Selena will be remembered with deep love and affection as a quiet, gentle and loving individual, who dedicated her life to her children and family. In memory of the wonderful loving mother she was her family have placed a framed poem entitled ‘Mum’ which Teanne bought her for mother’s day. • In recognition of her love for football and especially The Melbourne Storm - and her favourite player Billy Slater, her family have placed a Melbourne Storm jersey. • A framed photograph of her beloved dog Leo represents Selena’s love for animals. • Selena’s mother Marlene has placed a small gold locket portraying Selena as a baby. She wore this continually as a reminder of her much-loved daughter. • A photo collage of Selena’s 3 beautiful grandchildren Stella, Ivy & Jules In the time since Selena died, you will have had time to reflect on the life she has had, her interactions with you personally and the impact she has made on your life through her friendship with you. You, as family and friends, can be thankful for having known Selena. Although at times you may be sad and unhappy about her passing, you can be grateful that she lived and walked in your world. Nothing can erase the depth of experience that Selena faced, nothing can detract from the joy, beauty, love, fear or pain she endured, as the past, that special tapestry she wove, known intimately only to those around her, will remain sacred and secure. Her influence, however, endures in the consequences which flowed from her character and her deeds. They are part of your heritage, a little piece inside you. We extend our deepest sympathy to all of you. There are no words of comfort or explanation that could possibly cushion the shock that is experienced when one is faced with the death of a family member. There is no doubt that Selena’s death has been a shock to you regardless of the fact that due to deteriorating health her death was perhaps imminent. However, having prior warning of such a sad event does nothing to ease the pain and disappointment that you are feeling today. The loss of Selena does change things for you. It does leave a gap in your lives but to each of you may peace and consolation be yours. You honour Selena’s memory by your presence at this service today and mark her accomplishments as we pay our formal and final respects. Along with all those thoughts and feelings, is the knowledge that Selena’s life's work was well done, her life’s journey now complete. Selena’s family would like to extend a special thank you to the staff and oncology team at Royal Brisbane Hospital, Blue Care palliative care, Selena’s GP Dr Mammino, and to Kerry Rochester and Tracey McDonald for their wonderful support and help during the beginning and end of Selena’s battle with cancer. Gentle, kind and loving, Selena’s sweet and giving soul lives on in our memories. Her passing has left a void in many lives, a void that is almost impossible to fill and she will be sadly missed by everyone who had the privilege of knowing her. Eulogy They say that when we enter this world we enter it with nothing, and when we leave we take nothing with us. However, throughout our lifetime we all create memories that we leave as a legacy to our family and friends, and Selena was no exception. I would now like to share with you some special memories of Selena’s life that her family has prepared. Selena Marie-Rose Kennedy was born in Melbourne Victoria on the 9th of September 1960 to parents Keith and Marlene Kennedy. Marlene Rochester first met Keith Kennedy in the living room of her parent’s house in Jordanville, Victoria where Keith was a guest at Marlene’s father’s 50th birthday party. After a happy two year courtship they married at St Patrick’s Cathedral, in Melbourne City. The newly married couple then moved in with Marlene’s parents Elsie and Bill, as well as Marlene’s older brother Vincent. At different periods the addition of Marlene’s older sister Elaine and husband Ted were also occupants of the house. It was a boisterous and exciting, family-filled environment to enter into, and Selena being the only babe surrounded by a sea of adults was always the centre of attention. Selena was doted on and adored by all that met her. Elsie and Bill absolutely idolized their granddaughter. Every afternoon her grandfather Bill would come home with a chocolate for Selena as a reward for dutifully winding the family cuckoo clock; this made her feel very important and appreciated. Selena and her grandmother Elsie were inseparable. They had a magnetic connection and understanding of one another and when Elsie’s health issues worsened due to the cold Victorian weather the Kennedy family, which now included Selena’s younger brother Leslie, along with Elsie, decided to relocate to a warmer climate. The family headed north, buying and settling in Oxford Park (now, Mitchelton) in Brisbane, Queensland. Three years after moving to Brisbane Selena’s beloved Nan, Elsie, passed away and this was a devastating blow for Selena, but in 1973 Selena was graced once again with a new little brother, his name was David and Selena relished spending her time playing with both her brothers and considered herself quite the mini mum. The verdict is still out on which of Selena’s younger brothers christened her with the nickname ‘Ding’ or ‘Dinga’ but it was the one nickname that stuck around her entire life. Selena’s first primary school was Saint Mary Magdalene’s in Chadstone, Victoria. After moving to Queensland she attended St Williams Catholic Primary in Grovely. Selena possessed a curious mind and was an excellent student who received above average grades especially in English and History. Even though Selena was a shy young girl, she was always popular amongst her peers. Her quick humorous wit was continually entertaining and her compassionate, generous nature never failed to shine through. From an early age Selena adored music, when she started collecting pocket money her first purchases went straight on single LP records. She inherited her love of music, particularly rock and roll, from her father, Keith. When high school beckoned, Selena followed through her education at Mount Saint Michaels, Ashgrove where she finished her schooling in year 10. Selena then spent two years working in a variety of different jobs before meeting Skimbo in 1980. They decided to leave Brisbane and settle in the Northern Territory. Life in the ‘territory’ was certainly an eye opener for the city girl, but Selena considered it an adventure and worked as a meat packer in the abattoirs of Point Stuart, as well as living in Darwin, and also Tennant Creek. In 1983 Selena and Skimbo became new parents to baby Shilo and lived together in Tennant Creek. Four years after exploring the top end Selena returned home with Shilo to live with her parents Marlene and Keith and her brother, David at their family home in Mitchelton. The Kennedy home always had a bit of a revolving door policy and at times Leslie and his friends, sometimes Selena’s friends and Keith and Marlene’s friends would temporarily take up residency. One lifelong family friend in particular, Les, or ‘Silver’ as he is known to most, was a regular visitor and boarder in the house and Selena and Silver were very good friends and also shared a love of rock and roll, partying and having a laugh. Selena and Shilo quickly settled into family life back at home in Queensland where Selena’s bond with her mother Marlene became even stronger; people would often ask if they were sisters, and they spent almost all their time together doing the things they both loved. High on the list was shopping, markets, garage sales, playing bingo, looking after a menagerie of different animals, travelling interstate having extended stays with family in Melbourne, those being her beloved Aunt Beverly (or Aunty Bevvy as Selena liked to call her), Uncle Vincent, and her cousins, Kerry and Jacqui. And of course we can’t forget, religiously watching their beloved Days of our Lives and Bold and the Beautiful. In the late 1980’s Selena met Mark and in 1989 Teanne was born. It was clear from the outset that Selena’s daughters both inherited many of her admirable characteristics. Shilo with her thirst for knowledge and diplomatic nature and Teanne with her strong willed determination and sarcastic wit. All these traits and more are testament to the wonderful parenting Selena bestowed upon her daughters. One weekend in 1999 during a visit to her brother, Leslie’s house in Murrarie, Selena met Barry; the unexpected love of her life. They shared many common interests and personality traits, both being introverted, kind hearted, and enjoying the company of one another. They also had a mutual love of music, going to rock concerts, a shared sense of humour, having a bet on the horses, weekend daytrips and extended trips within Australia. They enjoyed the quiet life and home was always where they felt most comfortable and content. After a lifelong dream to own a Harley Davidson, Barry decided he would go ahead and finally buy one. Selena on the other hand wasn’t as thrilled with the purchase purely because Barry was so insistent on taking her out riding which she whole heartedly objected to on a regular basis. Barry even went so far as to buy her a custom helmet. She did end up going for a total of two rides. The first was an enormous stretch of around 2kms, and the second around the same distance but on that trip, Barry was told by another motorist, that he had a faulty tail light. By the time they had ridden home and Barry had gone to get the tools he needed to fix the issue, Selena was already upstairs vowing never to ride again. Selena obviously felt safer with both feet planted firmly on the ground. Entering into the relationship Barry could never have anticipated that with Selena came the added responsibility of a woman completely and utterly obsessed with poodles - toy poodles, for that matter. Barry took on this new found realization with a cool, calm and collected demeanor that only Barry could possibly possess. A lesser man may have run and hid but unbeknownst to Barry the allure of poodles would sooner or later pull him in as well. We cannot go past mentioning all of Selena’s poodle ‘fur babies’, the first ever being Shelly, then Pierre, Booty, Lucy and finally Leo. Leo was without a doubt Selena’s absolute favourite. They were fiercely devoted to each other for 13 years until Leo’s passing of cancer in 2014. Selena and Barry shared a beautiful 15 year strong relationship full of laughter, strength, tears and contentment. They complimented each other so well. They saved each other in times of need. They were each made better people because the other existed. In the early 2000’s Barry, Selena and Teanne moved in together to another family home in Keperra. Around this time Selena started a job as a carer for special need children with Townsend school bus services. Of all her past jobs she enjoyed this one the most. You could easily see she loved the responsibility of overseeing the children and their safety on the buses to and from school. She developed a real rapport with the children and had a calming influence on them. Selena was really sad to have to give up this position after a number of years because of staff cuts. In 2006 Selena became a grandmother for the first time. Her daughter Shilo and fiancée’ Brad welcomed baby Stella into the world and Selena enjoyed spending quality time with Stella. ‘Nanny Lena’ would often take Stella to the local parks and feed the ducks, show her all the beautiful wonders of nature, watch endless episodes of Dora the Explorer and just generally spoil Stella rotten. In 2007 Selena’s parents decided it was finally time to live out a lifelong dream of owning property in the country. They sold the family home in Mitchelton and relocated to Kilcoy. It was awfully hard work saying goodbye to the Mitchelton house where 4 generations of Kennedys once lived, with 38 years of memories to salute. Selena was a wonderful aid in the mammoth task of helping her parents move and settle in Kilcoy, which took quite some time. Once Marlene and Keith had settled there were lots of special times spent at the new home; bbq’s and birthday parties, rural drives to local op-shops and just sitting back enjoying the cows moo’ing in the country sunshine. Come 2009 Selena once again became grandmother for a second and third time to Shilo and Brad’s twin babies, Ivy and Jules. Nanny Lena was more than happy to be called upon to watch the three little ones while Shilo and Brad needed some r & r. They were all spoilt rotten of course, and you could always guarantee lollies, chocolate treats, ice blocks and little gifts were a major part of any visit to Nanny Lena’s house. 2011 was the beginning of a dark time for Selena and her family with the shocking diagnosis of her cervical cancer. Selena was always extremely terrified of everything medical. Hospitals, doctors, nurses, needles… it was all intensely overwhelming. For her to have been diagnosed with cancer was her worst fear come to life. Selena’s family had their doubts as to whether Selena would even consider treatment because of her medical phobia, but she surprised everyone when she unearthed a deep well of courage and determination that propelled her forward to face her disease. There were of course many times in the early days of treatment where it was far from easy to even get Selena to appointments. She would sit in bed and dig her heels in. ‘I’ll be ready when I’m ready!’ she’d scowl, while the family paced the house stressed out with worry. Despite this she always got in the car and always made it to the Oncology Department on time. In that first year Selena had aggressive chemo therapy, radiation, bracytherapy, scan after scan and endless appointments to track her progress. Selena was extremely blessed to have the help of not only Barry, Marlene, Teanne and Shilo but also her cousin Kerry who travelled from Melbourne to live with and help look after Selena for over a year. Kerry’s loving guidance and many trips to and from hospital lessened the load on Barry and the family while they continued their day to day lives. At the end of that same year Selena received the news she’d be waiting to hear; her cancer was gone. As difficult as it all was, the treatment had worked. It was an immense weight lifted from Selena’s shoulders and all of the family revelled in the triumph of beating the illness. From then on Selena began to regain strength and started to pick up life where she left off, enjoying the activities that she had once before. Unfortunately in August 2013 Selena was told the cancer had returned, spread, and this time it was terminal. Selena never wanted to know how long the doctors predicted she had left, she was never interested in time frames, she just continued to fight the disease with all her might, which she successfully did for another 22 months until finally her body decided to succumb to the inevitable. Selena defied all the odds by continuing on for 3 whole weeks after being admitted to hospital in mid June. Her dying wish was to be at home, surrounded by her devoted family. Selena was also very fortunate to have Leslie’s former partner Tracey by her side throughout her final weeks, and the family will be forever grateful for the nursing experience, love, care and attentiveness Tracey showed to Selena. The entire family were so grateful to have been given that precious extra time to bring Selena home, to see her huge smile as she entered the front doors of her house and to share in constant banter and laughter until she no longer could. Mere words will never do justice to the pride Selena’s family feels for all her bravery, strength, courage and determination. Selena you are so very, very loved and you will be eternally missed by everyone and always with us in our hearts and loving memories. Shilo I would now like to invite Selena’s daughter Shilo to please come forward and share some of her memories. Growing up my mum was the coolest person I knew, and by ‘cool’ I mean she has this nonchalant air about her, never finding the need to impress anyone; just going about her business quietly and living the life she wanted to live. I’d sit and watch her brush her never ending dark hair and wish I could one day grow locks that stunning. I’d watch her wiggle her way into her skinny black denim jeans and throw on her leather jacket and head out the door to watch whatever rock band was in town that week. She was the epitome of a classic rock and roll chick. On weekends she’d let me stay awake till the wee hours of the morning, cuddled up in bed, eating cheezels, watching b-grade horror movies and we’d laugh at how ridiculous they were. She was always listening to music and singing to herself. You could see her light up when her favourite song or band came on. Mum was a contradiction of personality; sometimes so shy she came across as aloof to people that didn’t know her well, but it was just a cover to protect her sensitivity. Deep down mum really was a beautiful, gentle soul. A classic example of this was to watch her with animals. Mum adored animals. I’ve been told that even as a young girl she was forever bringing home strays from the neighbourhood, begging to keep them and smothering them all with love and affection. Most of all, when I shut my eyes and think of mum, I envision her with a book in her hand. Mum needed books like we need air and water. They were her comfort, her escape, and her friends. I will be forever indebted and eternally grateful for the passions she instilled in me. A huge love of reading, an obsession with music and film, a fascination with foreign culture and this incredible world we live in. More often than not mum knew the answers to the many random questions I threw at her. ‘Mum, what’s the oldest city in India? Which planet is closest to Venus? Do you remember that movie where that guy does that thing and they’re at a park and its set in the 90’s?’ “Oh yeah, ‘1991 – The Fisher King’ she’d say. She always knew. My own personal Google. I’m so going to miss asking her those questions. I’m going to miss her knowledge, her empathy, her twisted sense of humour, her sullen moods, her piercing evil eye, her speed walk, sharing a cup of her favourite bushels tea, her generosity and a billion other memories that will forever stay engrained in my heart and mind. Mum’s determination to beat cancer was nothing short of incredible. I’m so proud of the woman she was and I’m even prouder to be called her daughter. Reflection I will call upon everyone here to observe a few moments silence. Those of you who are believers, may care to take this opportunity to say a quiet prayer for Selena while others, I am sure, will take a few moments to reflect on the meaning and importance of Selena’s life to them. Pause for photographic reflection. Music plays: Cold Chisel - Choir Girl (3.14 mins) Announcements Before we conclude, Selena’s family have asked me to thank you for your support at this difficult time, and to invite you to join them at the conclusion of this service for refreshments at the chapel cafe, and to further reminisce on this special life. Your friendship and support in their time of grief will be much appreciated. Lord’s Prayer Ladies and gentlemen, for those able, please be upstanding and feel free to join me in the Lord’s Prayer. Our father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day Our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us, And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil, For thine is the Kingdom, The power and the glory, Forever and ever, Amen. Committal Service As we say farewell to Selena let us give thanks for her life and may any regrets we have today be turned into gratitude for the time we have shared with her. It takes time to accept a loss, particularly one that is so heartbreaking. However in time the pain will subside as life moves on. Importantly, the most precious entity that will remain will be your memories, your love and the special moments you shared. These may be treasured for all eternity. Selena weaved a life that was meaningful, and we honour her contribution to the world. Let us therefore wipe away our tears and surround ourselves with positive memories. Selena is now at peace, and she would wish for you to go forward with your own lives, and take comfort in the following poem by an unknown author. Think of me as one at rest, for me you should not weep I have no pain no troubled thoughts for I am just asleep The living thinking me that was, is now forever still And life goes on without me, as time forever will. If your heart is heavy because I've gone away Dwell not long upon it friend For none of us can stay Those of you who liked me, I sincerely thank you all And those of you who loved me, I thank you most of all. And in my fleeting lifespan, as time went rushing by I found some time to hesitate, to laugh, to love, to cry Matters it now if time began If time will ever cease? I was here, I used it all, and now I am at peace. Tenderly and lovingly we say farewell Selena. You are now in a world of peace and happiness forever. We give thanks for your life, a life that we will remember with gratitude and love. We now leave you in peace, and with respect we bid you farewell. Thinking of you, we will leave this place in quietness of spirit, and live in harmony, one with the other. Recessional music plays: Fleetwood Mac - Landslide (3.19 mins)