Rik's Memorial

Amanda Skierkiewicz It’s hard to find the words to express how much Dr. Rik Carl D’Amato meant to me—not only as a professor, mentor, and colleague, but also as a friend. Rik was one of my professors at The Chicago School, where he taught several of my classes and later served as my dissertation chair. His guidance helped shape both my scholarly voice and my career path. After graduation, I had the privilege of continuing to work with him—co-presenting at APA when it was in Chicago, serving alongside him on a dissertation committee, and contributing a chapter to what would become his final published book: Understanding the Biological Basis of Behavior: Developing Evidence-Based Interventions for Clinical, Counseling, and School Psychologists. I was also fortunate enough to spend a weekend with Rik at Berry Lake at Laf-A-Lot, a trip full of warmth, laughter, and unforgettable memories. True to form, he was generous with his time, his insights, and his care. He was someone I turned to for career advice, and he never failed to listen, support, and encourage. What stood out most about Rik was his unwavering dedication to his students and to the field. He brought students into his work, mentoring them with intention and generosity. I strive to emulate that same spirit in how I support and guide my own students today. Rik was a visionary in school psychology and school neuropsychology—he didn’t just contribute to the field, he helped shape it. As the founder of the Neuropsychology in the Schools Interest Group within NASP, he laid the foundation for a growing movement in our profession. I’m deeply honored to now co-chair that very group, continuing the legacy he built with such passion and purpose. Rik was a remarkable teacher, person, and friend. He will be missed dearly, but his legacy lives on—not only through his family and friends, but also through the countless students, professionals, and children whose lives he helped to shape. With deep gratitude, —Amanda Skierkiewicz 28th May, 2025

Jennifer Cullen (D'Amato)Rik was a constant figure during my childhood in Waukesha. I remember countless hours with my sister Poke (Laurie) playing with Rik and Michael, the four of us often split by older (Michael and me) and the two younger. We were each about a year apart and because our fathers were close brothers who saw each other often, so did we. In those days, adult time wasn’t focused on engaging with children. They drank, laughed, and argued but always parted with hugs. We 4 kids were often left to our own devices, which meant exploring basement adventures and sliding down the hill (which I then thought was very steep) behind Uncle Tooter and Aunt Ione’s home on Garfield Avenue. I remember once having too much fun to take a bathroom break and ending up with wet pants. Aunt Ione had a huge inventory of clothes, most of which seemed dramatic and magical to me – sequins, shiny fabric, furs and jewels. I recall that for Rik’s birthday (or was it Mothers’ Day?) she would allow Rik to choose what she would wear, and it was fun to see what transpired. I thought it was quite playful on her part. She was breathtaking in her finery and red hair, and she was devoted to her three sons. Jack was older and I have far fewer memories of him as a child. Aunt Ione wanted to raise polite young men with strong characters and values, and she was successful. Despite frequent migraines she was an accomplished baker of desserts, confections, and sweet treats of all kinds. Every year she’d bake what seemed like hundreds of cut out sugar cookies for the four of us to decorate with frosting of many colors, the tradition continuing through to my college years when I’d be home for the holiday break that coincided with Michael’s birthday. Uncle Tooter usually made his special chili, which I loved and still try to replicate today. He was an amazing cook. Each of the D’Amato siblings had their own spin on the family red sauce, and I loved them all. I still find pasta with red sauce is my ultimate comfort food. Rik and Poke became remarkably close during our high school years. I think he was the confidante she felt I was unable to be. My relationship with her struggled after her bout with cancer at the age of 10 or 11. She emerged with her health but also with resentment about having experienced a trauma that didn’t have a name until she learned it years later (Hodgkin’s disease). In those days, the medical community recommended not telling children they had cancer, for fear it would frighten them. But not knowing it was worse. Poke was subsequently angry and rebellious as a teen, and I became the identified goody two shoes for siding with the parents I watched suffer through her life-threatening illness. I’m so grateful that she turned to Rik. His compassionate heart and unconditional love were available to her when she felt let down by my nuclear family. He visited her in Whitewater during college and I recall him visiting me in Madison as well. We did not agree about politics, but we could always connect in other ways. He was better at keeping in touch with our extended family than I was. He made and kept deep friendships from every place he lived over the years and he loved his travel adventures. I have gifts he brought from every place he went. He always expressed such pride in his sons, and being a father was especially important to him. Over the years I visited Berry Lake with my mother, Randy, our various children and their friends. Chelsie and Sarah have wonderful memories of laughing hysterically during games and enjoying the lake. We’d all try to pitch in at mealtimes and I remember Marcia asking Sarah to bring the salad to the table. Twice she looked through the refrigerator before coming to me to whisper that she couldn’t see any salad. Marcia finally had to come help, grabbing a large bowl of pink fluffy mounds of delicious marshmallow delight. We have laughed about that many times over the years. I once brought my son Ben, Poke’s son Michael, and my stepson Jack for a weekend at the lake. Michael loved fishing and after his death I held the memory of those few days even more dear as one of the happiest times I could recall witnessing. Ben was intrigued by the jet ski but did not want to drive it himself, so Rik had Ben sit behind him and they slowly started out for a ride. I was waving and taking photos ….. Gradually the jet ski sunk deeper into the lake, and before long only the front of it was above water. Over the decades, Rik continued to ask about my son whenever we spoke. Ben has struggled with mental health challenges his entire adult life, and Rik was so supportive, understanding what that meant for Ben and our family. During his time living in Chicago, Rik invited Ben and me to come for a few days. Ben was unable to travel much, but he wanted to go, so he and I took the bus from Madison to Chicago. Rik welcomed us with open arms, picking us up at the bus in his little Honda. Ben sat in back and was very anxious about riding in the busy Chicago traffic while Rik seemed to be making too much eye contact with me as he drove. He was very patient with Ben blurting out “There’s a car!” every now and then. We stayed only one night, 2 days but went out for huge meals 7 times! It was a dream come true for Ben who loved a great meal as much as Rik did. At the vegan restaurant Rik took us to, we learned it would be a 20-minute wait in line. Rik looked at Ben with that subtle smile and asked if he’d like to get a milkshake at the “bar” while we waited – of course he did! Ben appreciated those couple of days so much and I remain touched to recall how sweet Rik was to provide the perfect get away for Ben. Ben and I talked about that trip recently as we reminisced about Rik. Randy and son Jack love recalling the Pancake House breakfast with Rik in Madison where he donned his Darth Vader helmet to the delight of the entire restaurant. Rik was a grateful, optimistic, spiritual soul with a big heart. I’ll miss him and will hold my memories (distorted as children’s memories may be) close to my heart. In his honor, I plan to order a Monte Christo sandwich at our local Johnny’s Italian steakhouse, which one of his favorite places to eat when he visited Madison. I wish he had been able to obtain his Italian passport, but he was indeed an Italian citizen when he passed away, and I know that made him happy. I hope we can all stay in touch as time allows, and as I find photos I will pass them along. Love, Jennie27th May, 2025

Krisann LogsdonI knew Rik in high school. We were more competitors than friends the first couple of years, but when I underwent some trauma in my senior year, he became the best friend. He also introduced me to Karolyn, who is one of my few lifelong friends (Rik being another). Rik came to visit me my first Christmas away from home (we definitely had a very sister/brother relationship) and he became instrumental in my engagement to my husband of almost 49 years. The 3 of us were finishing dinner and Rik abruptly asked me to marry him. I knew he was just kidding, but Eric did not and told him he couldn't marry me because HE was going to. He and Karolyn came to our wedding in Kentucky and even joined us at our new apartment that weekend. Over the years, we didn't see a lot of each other - kids, distance, all those things. But he did come visit us here in Atlanta and I'll never forget, as it's so typical Rik - his first words out of his mouth were "you're old!" I wasn't yet 40! We kept in touch, but we didn't see him again until a visit to Wisc. in 2019, at his lake cottage, where we got introduced to 7-up, I believe his favorite card game. In May of 2022, Rik called with news of his cancer and in September, I was able to go spend a week with him. It rekindled our closeness and led to another visit with him at his cottage in both 2023 and 2024. We had such a good time together and we were already planning our 2025 visit as well. Rik is one of the most unique people I've ever known. He was so upbeat, even when he was going through the worst things. He was almost childlike in his bluntness, but you simply couldn't get offended, because he didn't have a mean bone in his body. Rik loved his family and friends so much! He had more friends than anyone I've ever known. He just had that special something that made you love him. I'm so very thankful that we grew close again in the last few years and even though we saw each other so rarely, I find myself missing him every day. I look forward to eternity with this precious friend. Blessings to you, Mike & David! Kris Logsdon 13th May, 2025

Susan LewisKnowing Rik for almost fifty years it’s hard to realize he has come to the end. From the start he helped welcome me into the D’Amato family. I admired him for his hard work, his becoming a Fulbright Scholar, his drive to get a PhD. But beyond that I admired him for being a joyful man, brave during times of trouble, and a good listener. He was just a good person. Rik was so proud of Marcia, Michael, and David. We remember their wedding and the birth of their sons, what great happiness. You sons honor your father by being hard-working yourselves. He told me he was happy each of you had found a good partner. Life and career led him to live in quite different places, Indonesia, Latvia, China. Seeing the world through the eyes of others helped him understand the human condition better. Rik was a very good listener, which contributed to his success as a psychologist. When cancer struck he decided to go on the attack and accept the difficulties of the most aggressive treatment possible. Rik made his peace then with the strong possibility that he wouldn’t survive the treatment. He told me he viewed his time since the diagnosis as bonus years and a great blessing. The God he honored was still in charge of the universe, he trusted that whichever way things went in treatment, he would be alright. We rekindled our relationship during his cancer years, talking often on the phone, laughing and remembering good times with his parents and brothers, at the lake, and in Waukesha. I think the last time I saw him was at Laura’s wedding. He had hard times during cancer but was very brave throughout. He loved his new home and his new sports car, the one item on his bucket list. I especially appreciate that he was willing to talk about politics, listening and engaging with respect to someone with very different opinions. While so sad that I can never again pick up the phone and have a good long talk with Rik, I will remember him always with great joy. He was one of my favorite people. God bless his family and may his memory shine on. Beloved son, brother, husband, father, uncle, and friend, go with God. Susan McIntosh Lewis 11th May, 2025