Rachel (AKA Ray) Toby

EULOGY - EXTENDED VERSION Rachel (Ray) Toby 17 December 2015 Rachel Toby was always known to friends and family as Ray. She was born in Rangoon, Burma, the youngest of six children. Her elder sisters used to have fun dressing her up, and her constant playmate was Chummy, second youngest and the only boy in the family. She was a happy child until 13 years of age when she lost her eldest sister and her mother in tragic circumstances, and then lost her father just a few years later. The family moved to Calcutta, India where Ray met Moses Toby through her sister Flo. Moses proposed to her while she was riding pillion on the bar of his bicycle. Ray and Moses married and lived happily in Calcutta, later moving to London and buying a home in Hendon where my brother Jack and I grew up. Ray was a very dedicated wife to husband Moses and was always guided by his beliefs and principles. She was a wonderful mother to us and was known in many circles as a reliable and caring friend. She was a charitable woman, I remember the many ways in which she supported the less fortunate and her regular support of Jewish charities. Ray and Moses had many close and caring friends in Hendon & Golders Green and would regularly meet with Jack and Seemah Cohen for a game of Kaluki. When my father retired due to ill health, Ray ran a business and worked hard at it, with the kind advice and guidance of her childhood schoolfriend from Rangoon, Jack Cohen. While she was a very active and caring wife and mother, Ray was also an excellent housekeeper and kept a more than ample store of food in the pantry, certainly enough for us to survive well if we were ever snowed in all winter (although it hardly ever snowed in London). She ensured her family was secure with top notch locks on all exterior doors (our home was also known as Fort Knox). Ray was a talented cook of many traditional sephardi dishes. For many people here and overseas she will be remembered for her delicious cowsware dinners and many other delicious dinner parties. She will also be remembered for her many mischievous practical jokes, and a few that were played on her as payback. Jack and I remember happy family holidays driving and singing our way around Devon with Jack Japheth at the wheel. Ray warmly welcomed overseas visitors and took them touring to far flung places. Some remember her for exciting drives through nighttime London when Jack and I were kids. There are many more who remember the place for Elijah at our table on every Shabbat and Yom Tov, and the many people we came to know very well because they were frequent guests, and there was always space for one or two or three more. Ray was a mentor and counsellor to many young people who moved to London from Indiaand elsewhere ahead of their families. Ray and Moses moved to Perth soon after my brother Jack married and settled here, and I followed. We were all deeply affected when Moses passed away less than two years later. The births of her grandchildren Sara, David and Jonathan gave Ray great happiness, she loved being with them. They happily remember the many times she baked cheese sumbusucks with them, an all day operation during which she taught them the finer points of perfecting their produce. She will always be in our thoughts and we will all miss her dearly. Ray was a voluntary helper at Carmel Kindy and Prep for 19 years, taking a grandmotherly role and many of the children loved her - and she loved being with the pre-schoolers and for years after she proudly followed their progress, saying “that’s one of my kids”. Ray moved to the Maurice Zeffert Village and later to the Home where she was well cared for. This year, Ray became a great grandmother to Jonathan’s baby daughter, Rafaeli. It gave her great joy to hold Rafaeli in her arms, and admire and bless her. There are two people overseas who specifically asked to be mentioned because of her strong presence in their lives: Edmund Jonah who lives in Israel, and Moses David who lives in London. If my father could have given a message for her, I believe it would be what he had sung to her so very many times in their lives... “Aishet Hayil Meim Sar” - a woman of worth who can find? The passage continues... ‘her values are far beyond rubies’. Our family thanks you all for being here today to respect and honour our mother Ray, who had such a wide influence on so many lives. She was truly an Aishet Hayil - a woman of worth.