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Join MemoriesShoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr She was born on a cold January day in the snow covered mountainous area of north western Iran in the Kurdistan region (map). She was named Pourandokht after the first female Persian monarch of 630 A.D.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr As the first daughter of this family, she became the recipient of much loving attention from her parents and her two older brothers.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Joy was always in the air wherever. She had such a nack for finding beauty everywhere!
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Her father, a physician, had been transferred to the small town of Bijar (northwestern Iran). Her father's standing as the kind and caring head of the health dept, and the old fashioned country doctor on whose door everyone could knock for help, won her whole family much affection from local people. Her mother was a strong and competent woman, and an expert in seeing only beauty and goodness in those she loved.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Mother has said that Love was her family's only religion.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Her loving sister who has by now forgiven her for almost blinding her at birth, lives less than ten minutes away. So, she and her sister and brother in law had regular get togethers, in keeping with their family tradition of staying close and connected.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr And it came naturally to her to pass on those loving embraces to her little sister, born 4 years later, again in the dead of winter. Her first attempt at babysitting her little sister came way too early!! 😜 The story goes: One of her brothers brought the newly delivered baby (in the other room and by a midwife) to her and laid her on her lap. “Here is your little sister,” he told her. But while the baby was beautiful, clean and nicely swaddled, she noticed that the baby's eyes were shut. She immediately set out to open the little sister's eyes by pushing apart the eyelids, as one would with a doll. Thanks to the watchful eye of their brother, no damage was inflicted!
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr They stayed friends from beginning to end, always celebrating their four years and four days apart birthdays.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr ....no discussion about our mother would be complete without including at least one poem from her friend, Forough's collections that has functioned as a guidepost for mother: I shall plant my hands in the garden And I will grow, I know I know, oh I know And in my hand's inkstained hollow The swallow Shall lay its eggs. None who fish In the tiny stream that drains out into a ditch Can ever fish up a pearl.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr I shall plant my hands in the garden And I will grow, I know I know, oh I know And in my hand's inkstained hollow The swallow Shall lay its eggs. None who fish In the tiny stream that drains out into a ditch Can ever fish up a pearl.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Becoming a mother with the birth of their first daughter in 1951, following their move to Tehran a year earlier, coincided with her work in the field of education.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr The two sisters raising their families together, growing their careers along side one another, every step of the way.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr She was a master multi tasker before the term was fashionable. And amazingly, she did them all well. She had her second daughter, Parastoo as she finished her college degree.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr With her supportive and engaged husband, they raised their daughters with much love and support, while advancing in their careers (lucky kids!)
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr And by the time she had her third daughter, Niloofar “Nilly,” she was teaching Persian literature at a private high school.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr While raising her first child attending the university of Tehran's college of law .
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr They loved to travel ...
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr and gather ....
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr She was a Mother and a friend to many, especially to her niece Banafsheh and nephew Khasha. And so many of her students who remained friends all throughout her lifespan.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr ... and gather ....
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Their professional association played a major role in women's rights, pushing for equal legal standing for marriage and divorce, legislation against polygamy, as well as education on women’s health, all culminating in the 1965 Reform in Family Law, granting women the right to divorce, and raising legal age of marriage for females from 9 to 18. And later the 1969 Reform in Labor Laws, establishing maternity leave. She was heart broken to see many of these gains reversed by the Islamic government on 1979.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr At the end of her career, as the consultant to the minister of education.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Attending International Women Lawyers' convention in Chile with her mentor, Dr. Manouchehrian (first female senator), who established the association of women lawyers, a member of the United Nations women’s rights commission.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Professionally, she quickly found herself on a very steep climb all the way up to the very top echelons of the ministry of education. Her career path went from a high school teacher of Persian literature, to high school principal, to the superintendent of the state of Tehran. In her path as a teacher, principal, superintendent, leader, and Council to Minister of Education she was beloved by hundreds of students, male and female teachers and peers, as well as staff across the state of Tehran. Including highly rural and religious towns and provinces.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Starting with nothing, and gaining so much!! Though they left every bit of their assets behind when they left Iran after the Islamic Revolution, they were grateful for all the peace and freedom they gained. They loved their downsized life in Knoxville, TN, where thanks to a dear friend she began Teaching Farsi at the university of Tennessee. And our father started a small vegetable garden in the backyard. They were both still so gratified by what they could each do to enrich their lives.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Friendships of a lifetime.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Their two dogs and a couple of suitcases of personal items was all they managed to bring from their homeland. But we did not hear them bemoan any of it.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
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Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr So much love to go around.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
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Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
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Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Their determination to live a full life included welcoming their youngest daughter, Nilly's husband, Terry whole heartedly.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr The arrival of her first grandchild, Pari Nicole soothe her aching heart as she always described the story of the first time she held her and the instantaneous sense of healing she felt, literally.
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Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Somehow they managed to live a rich life despite our father’s battle with cancer throughout the 5 years they "stole" from the revolutionary government. But the untimely death of our loving father at the age of 64, knocked her off her emotional feet.
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Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
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Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr In 1991 our family grew with the addition of Shoray's marriage and the inclusion of two precious and lovable grandchildren.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr She always talked about her love for her "son-in-loves," and shared many discussions from politics, movies, and literature.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Having so much fun with playful dates they called "national grandmothers day" with her first son-in-love's Mom, JoAnn, from Alabama. The two grandmothers would go off for hours, arguing over who gets to pay for lunch, lots of shopping, and laughter.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr In the more recent years, Mom welcomed Pari Nicole's husband, blessing their marriage as Taylor asked for her permission to marry Pari. And celebrating with a party in her/Shohreh and Terry's back yard where many dear family and friends traveled wide and long and were present.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr The beat goes on! Even the subtle beat of chess!
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Handing down the family tradition of chess from her father ...
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Through the years, her spirit of adventure was ever present as we enjoyed many music festivals (including camping), hikes, beach trips and day trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains. Her love of travel and family/friends took her to Boston, San Francisco, Seattle, and many other cities across US and Canada. She was always the easiest travelmate!
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Her loving heart continued to embrace our growing family with her granddaughter Julia's husband Josh and his family, as well as the one and only great grandchild, Ari. such joy and love as they traveled the long journey with a new born to make sure that Ari meets Grand Pari, now Great Grand Pari.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Showing off her accomplishments as the household's "branch manager" to her Mogli joon!
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Passing down the Persian recipe for stuffed cabbage
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr She even offered her unconditional love to all of our four legged children.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Mom inherited the gift of a mind filled with Rumi, Hafez, and other poems from her Father. Every story, every experience brought on a fitting poem, which she often had to translate for us.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr If you click on this clip, you'll find her reciting a Rumi poem for her daughters' women's group. A group of beautiful people who understand love in whatever language it's spoken!
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr As Mom was wrapping up her beautiful journey on this earth and preparing for her next adventure (as she used to say) she continued to model for us, teach us how to be at peace with life unfolding. As family and friends would call, she would wake from her sleep and muster up all her energy in order to show up for her loved one with enthusiasm and joy, to be a source of comfort for their lives. While she tried to prepare everyone for the day of her departure, she also didn't want to upset anyone and to make them sad. So many folks were surprised with the news of her passing saying “but she was so strong, so good.” and that is true: she was so strong and so good.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr Mom loved taking walks around "her paradise on earth," and often played with her cane like a wand rather than a walking tool. She used to say that she liked that about herself: that she had kept her playful little girl alive and well inside.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr She died with the same peacefulness and dignity she had lived. At home, holding her daughters' hands with the dignity and grace she had always wished for. She did this part of life the same way she did the earlier parts of her life: self determined, confident, adventurous, strong willed, encircled with admirers, exuding love, peace, grace and beauty. She comforted us all the way through and even now in our hearts and dreams.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr She always taught us, reciting one of her favorite poems: remember the flight. The bird is mortal.
Shoray/Nilly Kirk/Barr
Pourandokht— Even her name— A lantern, Shining deep from the bowels of the ancient past, Promising, promising, promising That the voice of women Will sing out, Will not be smothered, Not by hijab, not by ignorance, Not by some loud-mouthed politician from her adopted country. Her light illuminates the path Of two generations (And we cannot yet co...