Joan Josephine Fabian

When asked for Mum’s occupation to write on a form the other day, I just couldn’t say what she did. Mum didn’t have an occupation, so of course it’s assumed to be “home duties”. Well, those that know Mum KNOW that home duties certainly doesn’t fit the bill as her cooking skills were extremely limited, and got worse as she got older; all her married life she didn’t have a home as such, because Mum travelled around to wherever Papa’s job took her, whether it was interstate Australia or overseas. We really didn’t have a home base. Joan Josephine Buxton was the only child born in Sydney to Lilias and Frank Buxton of Coogee. Mum attended the Convent of the Sacred Heart Kincoppal in Elizabeth Bay in Sydney. She was at the school from start to finish. Her early teen’s after-school life was coloured by two things and her mother is quoted as saying “Joan’s geography is covered by Africa and Bowral”. Bowral, because her school holidays were spent there riding horses every day and Africa, because of the radio serial “Tarzan and the Apes”, later replaced by Johnny Weismuller, the original Tarzan on the big screen. She was always swinging through the trees and playing in the bush at Parsley Bay – playing Tarzan. During WWII Mum helped out, with her mother, at the Red Cross in Sydney organizing dinners and dances for the Americans who stopped into Sydney for some R&R, and there she met a handsome Rudolph Fioravanti, whom we know became Rudi Fabian when he returned in 1951, and who had already been in Lilias’s sights! As the story goes, and so often recalled by my father at dinner parties, Mum spent a few years criss-crossing the Pacific chasing after him till he agreed to marry her back in Sydney. Her engagement was announced on NYE 1951, marrying the following September. Although not a qualified teacher, Mum had various stints in teaching, including teaching high school English and History at Monte St Angelo in Nth Sydney in the 1960s and primary school Catechism (religious studies) and history in Karachi. But one of Mum’s favourite and most polished roles was that of General Manager’s wife and hostess to the many functions and parties she co-hosted with my father over the years at the different hotels he managed and they lived in. Her last and most favourite hotel being at the Fijian Hotel from 1972 to 1975. Whilst there she was President of the Crippled Childrens’ Association of Fiji, flying by small plane from her home at the Fijian Hotel to several of the smaller outer islands of Fiji to carry out her “duties” as president, such as organizing calipers for children with polio. She would amaze me each Wednesday evening at the Fijian, when she would host the Manager’s cocktail party in our home on the island, and she would remember every single person’s name she had just met and be able to introduce those people around the room to about 50 other people she’d only just met, calling each by name. I asked her how she did it and she said “by repeating their name back to them when they first tell it to her “. She was able to meet many famous people at the Fijian, as it was THE celebrity place to stay at the time, but her most unforgettable moment was when she got to polish Glenn Ford’s belt buckle and shoes. GF had left the shoes and belt outside his hotel room to be cleaned and polished for the next morning, and of course Mum swooped in and did the job before the hotel staff could Bula! He was the Hollywood heart throb actor of Mum’s era. Mum was able to carry herself amongst royalty, celebrity or politician and treat each graciously and with charm. Mum carried on her “home duties” until Papa retired and they both settled on the Gold Coast, after several years spent over on the west coast. Whilst on the West Coast she wrote a book “The Khyber Connection” and had it published as she was always interested in writing poetry and stories. Luckily she started to write her memoirs several years ago, and as I was her typist I was able to save her memories from 1923 onwards on the computer. As you’ll see by the several paintings here, J.J. Fabian was also a dab hand with a paintbrush and easel. She never got to display her talents in an exhibition, so we thought she’d love you to check out some of her earlier works painted when she was in her 70s. As next week, Sept 18th, would have been their 60th wedding anniversary, Mum’s made it in time to once again hear the familiar and infamous words she heard from Papa each wedding anniversary:~ 60 Bloody Years, Nag Nag Nag. Happy Anniversary for next week. Give Papa a kiss from us and Mo a kiss from me. We love you Mum xx