23 Jul 2021Gorge White House, Hood RiverSusan Sumpter Kris’s Memorial Service 7-23-2021
When Rick told me we would each have five minutes to speak I panicked, since I easily have at least three hours’ worth of memories to share. I’m sure we all have so many stories don’t we? Kris was one of those shining stars in life who leave behind indelible memories and who had a profound impact on us all.
There are daily reminders for me of Kris’s: plants in my garden, the many kindnesses she did, the laughter we shared and the many gifts she gave me. I shall always treasure my book on hiking naked in the Columbia Gorge and the cookbook Fifty Shades of Chicken amongst many.
It was hard to narrow down nearly three decades of friendship and shared memories, but there are three stories I’d like to share with you that sum up different aspects of Kris’s influence on me and the profound impact she had.
First of all, her humor, her zest for life, and propensity for fun and laughter. It may or may not be true that I have a reputation for peeing outdoors if the need arises. I hasten to add that I try do this in private places, but on one memorable occasion when we were skiing at Whistler the need overtook me on the slopes so I went amongst a stand of trees to pee. Little did I know that the ski lift went directly overhead and then several people skied right past me, which was quite embarrassing. Kris was highly amused and attempted to take a photo but swore that she wasn’t able to get a good shot. Ten months later she gave me a calendar for Christmas that prominently featured a picture of me peeing in the snow with large amounts of fleshy bottom showing. I still have that precious calendar and it still makes me laugh to think of her waiting all that time to reveal that yes, indeed, she had taken a photo that she titled “Always seeking fun and adventure” which really does sum her up doesn’t it? That’s not the end of the embarrassing photos either. When I turned 60 Kris proudly presented me with a cake featuring a large technicolor picture of me yet again peeing outdoors that she just happened to capture. She was also responsible for my nickname, Wind Angel but that’s a story for another day. It still makes me laugh out loud and reminds me of the power of laughter and really living life to the fullest.
The second way Kris profoundly affected me was through gardening. She was the one who encouraged me to become a Master Gardener, she shared her delight and the enjoyment of gardening and of course her yard was a shining example of her skills, a beautiful sanctuary, full of interesting plants that bloomed throughout the season, with buckets full of tomatoes, basil, kiwis. Dave Schulberg and I took the classes together which were very instructional. Mainly I learned that I knew nothing and had been doing it all wrong for the past 30 years. That wasn’t true of Kris though was it. She knew everything about gardening, the names of all the plants, where you should place them, what would grow well where. She was so generous with her time and expertise, I’m sure many of your gardens have parts of Kris planted in them, suggestions she made, or plants she gifted you. I see her every day in the blue hydrangea she gave me, the Hostas, grasses and flowers. Kris also encouraged Dave and I to apply for Backyard Habitat Certification since she had worked so successfully to turn her garden into a haven for native plants and birds. Her spirit lives on through our gardens and all the birds that visit them thanks to her encouragement.
Lastly and most personally, I want to talk about Kris’ kindness, her thoughtfulness and generosity of spirit. That is so deeply ingrained on my soul and will never be forgotten. My son Andrew was diagnosed with cancer at the age of four and as a result of his treatment he developed severe learning disabilities that required special education services throughout his schooling. Kris was always so, so kind and encouraging to Andrew, she had him to stay during his treatment so Paul and I could go away, she would take an interest in his life and activities and most memorably of all she really was responsible for him becoming a certified nursing assistant. Andrew had previously failed his CNA exams and was due to retake them at a time when Paul and I were abroad. Without being asked Kris offered to help Andrew, she worked with him before the exam by pretending to be a patient so he could practice his nursing skills. She helped him revise and tested him on his medical knowledge. On the day of the exam she drove him to the test site in Troutdale, made sure he had breakfast beforehand and then waited there while he took the written exam. She then drove him to Edgefield, bought him lunch, walked him round the gardens to calm him down and review his practical skills, and then waited while he sat the practical exam in the afternoon, then drove him home. Well, he passed and that’s got so much to do with Kris’s loving care, her encouragement and teaching. It’s hard to find words to describe that level of compassion, dedication to helping others and thoughtfulness. Andrew now works in the oncology clinic at OHSU and Kris made that possible, so every time he helps a patient, that’s Kris there helping too. I will never, ever forget what Kris did for my son, and the profound impact she had on him. That really sums up Kris for me, quiet thoughtfulness, loving care and making a difference through her actions.
Michelle and Ryan – your mother lives on in you both. She was so very proud of you and the impact you have on making the world a better place. Over the past year you have taught us all how to handle such utter devastation with courage, grace and resilience. You have shared your pain and understanding of suicide, educating us and making us more compassionate and better people because of your input. Thank you.
There is a quote “It’s hard to forget someone who gave us so much to remember” and that is so very true of your mother. She was supremely talented, a shining star, a beam of light, a joyful burst of laughter and a compassionate soul who will live on in our hearts forever.
